Finding Fulfillment in this Lifestyle in an unconventional way
A reoccurring narrative I hear within this community is how to build your career while simultaneously uprooting your life and moving to a foreign country to support your partner. Even while writing this, I can sense the anxiety I used to feel around this topic. When I made the decision to move overseas with my fiance, I knew a lot of people would question my decision. I could hear their voices in my head, “But what about your degree?” and “Aren’t you going to work?”. And what I discovered is that you can find fulfillment in your life that isn’t tied to any person, place, or thing. That you can live a life that is truly satisfying no matter where you are in the world. Contentment comes from within; it comes from knowing that everything you need is already inside of you - it’s just waiting to be discovered.
Before I dive in, I want to acknowledge the women within this community that have found remote work that allows them to pursue a career while still living overseas - you are amazing. It can be challenging to find something that accommodates this lifestyle and the uncertainty that is inherently a part of it. I also acknowledge that not everyone wants to, or can find, remote work - you, too, are amazing. My goal in writing this blog is to offer you another way of looking at fulfillment and to step outside of the box that society has worked so hard to fit you into. Life is meant to be enjoyed. We were not meant to carry the weight of the world’s expectations on our shoulders, but rather to live a life most authentic to ourselves.
The very first thing I needed to do to find fulfillment was to unpack any beliefs I had surrounding what fulfillment meant. For me, I thought having a career and being fulfilled were synonymous. When I took a step back, I realized that while trying to become a strong woman that the world would take seriously, I had simultaneously created a belief system that tied my worth to my ability to make money. Before I could move forward, I had to deconstruct this belief system that had driven a lot of my decisions in the past.
Once I let go of any expectations of what it meant to be fulfilled, I could start exploring my passion(s). I know what you are probably thinking, easier said than done, right? But you can start off by asking yourself, “what fills up my cup and what doesn’t?”. Begin to notice how you feel when you finish something; do you feel rejuvenated? Or does it leave you feeling drained?
We have the unique opportunity in this lifestyle to really dive into ourselves and discover who we are. Let’s face it - we spend a lot of time alone. When we are away, we don’t have a constant flow of family and friends around us, so we really get to focus on our inner voice and what we think and feel about the world. For example, one of my passions in life is to connect with others. As you can imagine, when I moved overseas to a foreign country where little english was spoken, this was a challenge. I had to find other ways to fill up my cup that didn’t require other people being around me. For me, that was yoga. What I have come to realize is, every obstacle or challenge we face is just another opportunity to get to know ourselves better. I realized that if I can find fulfillment within myself, free from anything in my external environment, then I could find fulfillment anywhere.
If you take nothing else from reading this, let it be this: find what fills your cup and create more space for it in your life. We do so much for those we love - heck, if you are a part of the expat community, you uprooted your entire life to be with your partner and support them in their dream. But this doesn’t mean that you, too, can’t have your own dreams. You are the creator of your own life and we get to choose what and who we share our energy with. So while you’re busy filling everyone else’s cup, don’t forget to fill your own. You are not only doing a disservice to yourself, but to the rest of the world. You were created with your own innate gifts - the world is simply waiting for you to discover them.
